Monday, December 17, 2007

A Tool to Call my Own

As all my reader's know, my own journey has been lit in 2007 by the fire known as Brooke Castillo. On Feb. 11, 2007 I ordered her book, If I'm so Smart, Why can't I lose weight?: Tools to Get it Done, on an Amazon whim. I read her book in March and began working directly with her in May. Brooke's work has inspired me to truly connected with my own spirit in ways I'd never previously have thought possible. Tonight, inspired by the tools in Brooke's work, I created my first Tool to call my own. I'm writing about it here so you can put it in your tool set!

One of the ways Brooke helps you to connect with yourself is by suggesting you not eat until you are hungry and you stop eating when you are full. When you eat past the point of satiation (a.k.a. eating past 2), Brooke suggests you ask yourself why. This is something that's always been really hard for me and tonight I invented a tool that will make that easier for me.

Tonight I went to dinner with a friend. Before I left my house I had a banana and macadamia nuts and a banana when I was at -2. i left my house at a 0 or 1. At the restarant when we ordered i was at a -2 and we got calamari and I had a few - maybe 10 little rings of calamari - just enough to enjoy. When the meatloaf came I was probably at a 0. about 1/3rd of the way through I was at a 2.

Why did I keep eating?

I would ask myself that and the answer would come back "I don't know" so I came up with this check list of sorts which hits upon many of the reasons I normally eat past two. I asked each question and waiting a few long minutes for an answer.

Was I hiding something?

Was I covering something up?

Was feeling bad about something?

Was I running late for something?

Was I trying to stuff a feeling or forget about something?

Was I anxious about something?

BAM!!! Got one here. Actually this is really resonating. Tomorrow I have a big work out with Brian, my personal trainer. I've been trying to keep up with his workouts on my own but they are too hard for me. I can't remember all the core strength exercises, I can't do the times he has in the plan, I can't even figure out how to clip my bike shoes into the damn pedals. Obviously the schedule he did for me for this week was "easy" and I can't even do this. If I can't do this, how will I ever get to the point where i can do this tri. Yeah this is it - if I am in training I shouldn't eat this stuff. This isn't fuel enough. I'm not going to be able to do these workouts keep up with Brian so I might as well sabotage myself by overeating. OOOOO I got it! This is exactly what the issue is. I have to get up especially early for our workout tomorrow and all through the meal i was planning my morning - how I would get up early, how hard it was going to be etc etc.

I am sure this is why I overate to prove the thought I won't be able to keep up with BRIAN.

And now, for the fun stuff... THE FOUR QUESTION TURNAROUND... TAA DAH!

I won't be able to keep up with the workouts Brian gives me.

Is it true? Clearly.
Can I be sure? No
How do I react when I think this thought? I eat past two, I fret, I doubt myself, I talk myself out of my goals, I lose my competitive / goal-setting spirit, I do not honor my highest athletic self, I am overwhelmed to the point of needing a nap
Who would I be without this thought... at dinner.... with a really yummy plate of food. I would be someone who ate to 2!!! Without this thought I would also be confident in my ability to find a trainer who will push me to the point of excitement but nto breaking and confident that if he wasn't a good fit as a trainer, I'd find another trainer. I'd be someone who was excited to fuel my body rather than to punish myself for not being good enough to keep up with a new trainer's work outs.

WHEW!!! I feel amazing right now I can TOTALLLY keep up with the workouts Brian gives me.

Evidence I can keep up with Brian's workouts:
1) I have so far.
2) I was amazing in our first session together and I've done everything he's had on the schedule so far.
3) Brian explained his workouts were a draft and that we would modify them as he learned more about where I am.
4) Brian hasn't seemed even a little bit worried about me completing this event in April.
5) At no extra charge Brian is spending an extra 30 minutes with me tomorrow to help me on the spinning bike so that I am even MORE able to complete his workouts.
6) Brian's biggest rule is to workout hard but not experience pain. If I couldn't keep up with his workouts, he'd modify them for me as he already has.
7) Whether or not I can do the workouts on his first draft schedule do not say anything about whether or not I can do this event.

And so that's my first tool of my own. Can't wait until the next time I get to use it!