Wednesday, September 23, 2009

WEAVE saved my life.

Please help save WEAVE.

I'm a successful executive. For years (2 to be exact) my husband threatened to kill me and to steal my child. Eventually he started physically hurting me as well. When I'd had enough, I went to a lawyer. The answers I got were long, complicated, expensive, and included a lot of concessions I wasn't willing to make.

I remembered donating to WEAVE once as part of a production of the Vagina Monologues. I never thought I would need to call them. I didn't think WEAVE services were for people like me. Frankly, I wasn't aware that strong, smart successful people could be victims of domestic violence. It had become achingly clear, however, that I was wrong.

Shaking and hiding in my car in a CVS parking lot, I called WEAVE. That phone call was like grabbing on to a lifeboat when you are drowning in a wide ocean of fear and uncertainty.

In days, I had met with an incredibly helpful lawyer for free, had filed a restraining order at the court house, and got sole temporary custody of my son. A WEAVE volunteer sat with me through all the court proceedings and called me periodically to check in on me.

I felt guilty using their services because I felt like my abuse was so minor compared to the other people I met while working with WEAVE. But repeatedly they told me that I was a victim and they were determined to help -- that domestic abuse might come in degrees, but their services didn't.

I promised myself when it was all over I would donate $100 a month to WEAVE. It's not all over. I hadn't started donating. And now I am riddled with guilt for not supporting the organization that saved me sooner.

Please help save WEAVE.

For more - see this article in the Washington Post:

Friday, September 11, 2009

Basil the Cat: RIP

5/23/2003 - 9/11/2009

Basil was 16+ and had a full life. He lived in Alexandria, Washington DC, Connecticut, Arlington, and Reston. He was mostly an indoor cat but in the last year got to check off 'spend time outside' from his bucket list.

He was not a huge fan of toddlers but was never aggressive with them (just aloof). He loved garlic, tobacco, and coffee breath. He also loved bumping his chin into your knee while you were sitting on the toilet. He did not like bathroom doors to be closed. His happiest years were 2003-2005 when he fell madly in love with Rachan (my ex) but before we were distracted by Jesse.

The night before he passed, he was playing and purring. He was never sick. He died peacefully and looked like he was sleeping though my guess is he his heart stopped as he had a moderate heart murmur.

Basil got me through some dark scary days in my 20s when I was very lonely. I remember one day after a particularly rough break-up, holding Basil and crying hysterically for hours until his fur was soaked, but he didn't leave my side. He always seemed to know when you needed him to be around and he'd saddle right up beside you.

In the passed few years, between having a kid, moving 4 times, and getting a divorce, Basil dropped down a few rungs as a priority in my life. In fact, the script had flipped and he had started needing me more than I needed him. I don't think he enjoyed the change and I know he is at peace now that the fight for my attention is finally over. And I think he knows, in his own way, he actually did win.